Life is too short.
I’ve been painfully reminded of that this year. I’ve struggled with how much to share publicly about what’s been going on in my life, but it feels like this is important. So, *deep breath*
I lost both my brother and my father within 8 months of each other. It’s weird, my dad died almost 8 months to the day after my brother. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real that half of my family is no longer here.
I’ve struggled with a lot of conflicting emotions, because to be completely honest, I wasn’t that close to either of them. My brother and I often fought growing up, and we grew apart as teenagers and young adults. We just didn’t have much in common. My parents divorced when I was very young, and my dad was in and out of my life for most of it. We didn’t really develop that parent-child relationship. So it’s been hard because I have to remind myself that whatever I’m feeling is ok. Sometimes I’m sad, but sometimes I don’t feel much of anything…but then I feel guilty for that…you know what I mean? It’s not straightforward grieving.
Mostly, their deaths have reminded me that the little everyday choices we make accumulate to determine the course of our lives.
I can’t help but wonder how their lives would have turned out differently if they made different choices. They both chose to smoke cigarettes, and neither of them made exercise a part of their lives. That’s what they chose to do, and I have to accept that there’s nothing I could have done to make them change it.
But I can change my life, and I can help anyone who is ready and willing to change theirs.
I started on this journey of working for myself way before their deaths. I was NOT happy working a 9-5 desk job, and I knew it wasn’t good for my physical or mental health. I chose to find a different way. I made tiny, everyday choices that accumulated to me being able to quit my job and a make a full-time income with fitness.
It was not easy. When I was getting started, I would have to wake up earlier than I wanted to so I could respond to messages before leaving for work. I would have to think about my business and my brand when I was tired after working a serving shift and all I wanted to do was crash in front of the TV. But I truly believe that those daily decisions have brought me to where I am today. It’s not luck. It’s Hard. Work.
I talk to many people who have the desire to change. They want to lose weight, get back in shape, or start working for themselves like I did. But sometimes, when I describe the daily work they’ll need to do, they back-peddle. I want to take them by the shoulders, shake them, and say, “DO IT NOW! Don’t procrastinate. Don’t say ‘someday.’ You never know when you might not get to someday!” I know all too well that someday might never happen.
If you’re not ready, that’s fine. If you have a really good reason for waiting, I respect that. But if you’re scared, if you’re just stuck in bad habits, or you feel like it’ll be too hard…uh-uh, sorry. Time to let go of those “reasons.” I certainly had to!
The thing that will have the biggest impact on your life is not some huge event, or something you did for a week or two. It’s the daily choices you make. They become your life. So please, choose what you truly want.